i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
