No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Dicks are not precious.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
