Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
