I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize