i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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