he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
