im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
