i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
