I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
