My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
