I don't think brook has ever known best
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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