Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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