I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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