I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
