Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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