I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
