Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize