with your own penis?
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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