Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
