didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I think people are normalizing furries
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
