That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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