Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
