White coat. Heels.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
