You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
