playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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