playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
