are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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