Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize