im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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