no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
