So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
her vagine was all disorganized.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
