there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
