ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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