Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
