Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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