I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
