Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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