I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
