Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
