Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
don't judge my taste in strippers
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
