Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
