dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize