ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize