so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize