Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize