Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
