I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Text me some of your sweat
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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