On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
