So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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