ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
