we're blogging at a bar
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize