You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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