dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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