She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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