So drunk its hurt
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
