I'm drive I can fine osifer
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
