people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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