I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
im holly from the hills drunk
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
