The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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