do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
