Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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